Question: Did she put those pseudonyms on all of those FEMA applications? On behalf of the real victims of Hurricanes Katrina, Dennis and Ivan, grrllll…your last name ought to be "Ashamed."

Seventeen fraudulent applications, one threat to kill a witness, one brandished loaded weapon, one intent to distribute marijuana, and a boatload of identity theft charges later and the federal government uses guess-timated calculations based on what Bernetta LaShay Willis thought she could get from FEMA to determine how long she gets to sit in prison. Forty-three years.

How did they come up with that number?

Well…

Although FEMA suffered actual losses of $79,607.45, the probation officer calculated intended loss based on the maximum aid available for each fraudulent claim filed: $26,200. The pre-sentence investigation report (PSI) listed Defendant’s intended loss as $471,600, resulting in a fourteen-level sentence enhancement. Although some of Bernetta LaShay Willis and friends applications were not pursued beyond the $4,358 in automatic FEMA funds, the government contended that Defendant took affirmative steps to obtain a maximum award whenever possible. The government concedes that the calculation is incorrect; it should have been more like $524,000.00.

The end result, however, is that the miscalculation was harmless because both sums would have still resulted in what they called a 14-level sentence enhancement. [See U.S.S.G.§ 2B1.1(b)(1)(H)]. In short, the PSI miscalculation she appealed against may have been to her favor, if it would have made a difference. She got just under $80,000.00, but was estimated to have committed crimes worth in excess of half a million. The appeal stated that it should have been calculated on slightly more than $107,000 and an eight-level sentence enhancement.

Good night, lady.

Here’s the real kicker: Even after Bernetta aka Nettie aka Hot Girl aka Hottie aka Hi-Girl aka LaShay was indicted, she went back and applied for even more FEMA funds. Maybe the last application was the legitimate one, except for one other problem: Bernetta aka Nettie aka Hot Girl aka Hottie aka Hi-Girl aka LaShay [aka “Bayou Bernetta”…I made that last one up] was never eligible for the funds in the first place. She lived in Montgomery, Alabama before her address became Federal Government Prison for Class-A Felons, Washington, DC.

I want only to ask the one question of Bernetta LaShay Willis aka all those other nicks what I ask of all those who go to these extremes for a few or even a few thousand dollars: Was it worth it?

Result of appeal: The Circuit Court affirmed the sentencing of the district court. The key to possibly cutting that sentence in half just officially sank to the bottom of the Gulf.