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What’s up With Our Children’s Language?
- By Lana Reid
- Published 10/7/2009
- Editorial and Opinion
- Unrated
Lana Reid
Lana Reid is the author of “My Love Notes to a Black Man” and a public speaker whose efforts are geared towards the promotion of a positive Black Male image and enhancing African-American relationships. For more information visit http://www.facebook.com/l/aba61;www.lanareid.com.
What’s up with these kids these days? I was walking in one of those mini shopping malls and passed by a group of young males ranging between the ages of 11-14 years-old. As I approached, I could overhear their conversation. “MF this, F that, N please, S***!”
As I got closer to them, they continued their conversation using the same expletives. They never missed a beat and I could still hear curse words that I don’t even care to hear grown folks use. Kids will be kids amongst each other, this I understand, but when did they stop respecting an adult’s presence and respond accordingly?
Back when I was sprouting up, there was always a Mrs. ______ (fill in the name of the lady in your neighborhood) that would have checked and disciplined every one of those kids that I encountered. Today, I don’t have that luxury. I would suffer repercussions for reprimanding someone else’s child.
So nowadays, I can’t take the time to stop and say “now gentlemen, that is really inappropriate and disrespectful to use that language especially in front of me.” (That’s the 2009 discipline version, Mrs.______ probably would have gone straight for the switch off the nearest tree). These days, I probably would have gotten another earful of “F you” by the end of my lecture.
Maybe I could have found their parents and informed them of their child’s behavior (Mrs. ______ would have done that, right after she finished up with that switch). Oh, but how hard is it to make a suggestion to someone on how to raise their child these days, even when the behavior is foul. Yes, things are really different when it comes to how folks are rearing their children today. I remember my mother and father saying “get out of grown folks business,” when I was butting into their conversations.
I use the same line with Mini-Me today. In contrast, I see so many other parenting styles that allow a child to interact and converse with groups of adults as if the child and adult were equals. Have you ever witnessed a parent telling a child to go clean their room or some other chore and then the child proceeds to try and negotiate?
“Why do I have to do it now.” “Right after this show goes off, I promise.” “But I just did that yesterday!”
I never got a chance to have all that extra dialogue with my parents, when they told me to do something, it meant right at that moment I’d better get up and do it...and with no extra lip or attitude at that. Back when my mother said things like “I brought you into this world and I can take you out of it.” I was scared and her words would make me toe the line. Some of today’s parents seem to have lost that effect.
Children who do not pay mortgages or light bills seem to have more control in the household than the adults. Respect starts at home with how a child is taught to treat their mother, father, or other caregiver. Then when I walk down the street and encounters whoever’s children, they will have the decency to modify their colorful speech until I am well out of earshot.
As I got closer to them, they continued their conversation using the same expletives. They never missed a beat and I could still hear curse words that I don’t even care to hear grown folks use. Kids will be kids amongst each other, this I understand, but when did they stop respecting an adult’s presence and respond accordingly?
Back when I was sprouting up, there was always a Mrs. ______ (fill in the name of the lady in your neighborhood) that would have checked and disciplined every one of those kids that I encountered. Today, I don’t have that luxury. I would suffer repercussions for reprimanding someone else’s child.
So nowadays, I can’t take the time to stop and say “now gentlemen, that is really inappropriate and disrespectful to use that language especially in front of me.” (That’s the 2009 discipline version, Mrs.______ probably would have gone straight for the switch off the nearest tree). These days, I probably would have gotten another earful of “F you” by the end of my lecture.
Maybe I could have found their parents and informed them of their child’s behavior (Mrs. ______ would have done that, right after she finished up with that switch). Oh, but how hard is it to make a suggestion to someone on how to raise their child these days, even when the behavior is foul. Yes, things are really different when it comes to how folks are rearing their children today. I remember my mother and father saying “get out of grown folks business,” when I was butting into their conversations.
I use the same line with Mini-Me today. In contrast, I see so many other parenting styles that allow a child to interact and converse with groups of adults as if the child and adult were equals. Have you ever witnessed a parent telling a child to go clean their room or some other chore and then the child proceeds to try and negotiate?
“Why do I have to do it now.” “Right after this show goes off, I promise.” “But I just did that yesterday!”
I never got a chance to have all that extra dialogue with my parents, when they told me to do something, it meant right at that moment I’d better get up and do it...and with no extra lip or attitude at that. Back when my mother said things like “I brought you into this world and I can take you out of it.” I was scared and her words would make me toe the line. Some of today’s parents seem to have lost that effect.
Children who do not pay mortgages or light bills seem to have more control in the household than the adults. Respect starts at home with how a child is taught to treat their mother, father, or other caregiver. Then when I walk down the street and encounters whoever’s children, they will have the decency to modify their colorful speech until I am well out of earshot.