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- Deric's Debate: Child Support
Deric's Debate: Child Support
- By Deric Muhammad
- Published 06/30/2009
- Editorial and Opinion
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Deric Muhammad
Deric Muhammad is a Houston-based community activist who blogs at http://www.askbroderic.blogspot.com.
When the Good Lord blesses two human beings to bring a life into the world, human nature dictates that they support what He has created through them. The uncon- ditional love for the new life drives the parents to protect, shelter, feed, clothe and nurture it. This dynamic can be readily found in the most primitive of jungles; even among dogs.
If an animal does not have to be court-mandated to hunt to feed its offspring, what has happened that a human being will not support his or her own child? Often the ones that came together to produce the baby do not stay together to raise the baby. However, just because two grown folks decide to go their separate ways does not mean that the child should suffer unnecessarily.
Nevertheless, this is what often happens. This is where the ambiguity of the term “child support” comes in. According to Webster’s Dictionary, support means “to promote the interests or cause of.”
The objectives of child support must first and foremost promote the best interest of the child. But, too often, pride, ego, vindictiveness and personal pain take precedence over the best interests of the child. It is then that child support could very well turn into child suffrage.
What is child support? In order to determine that, you must first determine what the child needs. On a base level there is a need for food, clothing and shelter. Then comes transportation, child care, etc.
These things cost money. So money is not a lightweight component of child support. However, contrary to popular assumption, money is not the only form of child support and is not necessarily the most important.
Don’t get me wrong. Every man or woman who is a non-custodial parent should provide financial support. However, in most cases the child does not know when his father is late with his payment, nor does the child care.
The child cares whether or not Dad shows up for school programs, baseball games or weekend visits. A more complete and holistic approach to, and definition of child support is needed. It’s not always just about the money.
For instance, a child with sickle cell requires a type of support that a totally healthy child does not. Along with financial support must come mental, moral, spiritual and emotional support as well. The most important aspect of child support is that the child knows that he or she is loved and not rejected.
These are very critical factors in a child’s development. They are elements that you cannot throw money at. Child support is supposed to be about their child, not two adults who can’t seem to get along.
Too many parents try to use their child or children to hurt the other person that may have hurt them during the relationship. This is a grave offense and it usually backfires in the face of the immature perpetrator. Some sisters mistake child support for “me support.”
Some brothers withhold support because the woman no longer wants to be with them. Either way, the child’s well-being is compromised for the sake of foolishness. Child support is designed for the child; not the “child-like” mentality of immature parents.
That does not need support. It needs treatment and counseling. Prayer and communication is essential when two people are raising a child under the execution of a child support agreement.
The key is to put your personal issues on the backburner. Sooner or later both mother and father will have to communicate about the well-being of the child. Too often that communication takes place years later in the court room or a funeral home. But, by then it is too late. Let’s grow up folks.
If an animal does not have to be court-mandated to hunt to feed its offspring, what has happened that a human being will not support his or her own child? Often the ones that came together to produce the baby do not stay together to raise the baby. However, just because two grown folks decide to go their separate ways does not mean that the child should suffer unnecessarily.
Nevertheless, this is what often happens. This is where the ambiguity of the term “child support” comes in. According to Webster’s Dictionary, support means “to promote the interests or cause of.”
The objectives of child support must first and foremost promote the best interest of the child. But, too often, pride, ego, vindictiveness and personal pain take precedence over the best interests of the child. It is then that child support could very well turn into child suffrage.
What is child support? In order to determine that, you must first determine what the child needs. On a base level there is a need for food, clothing and shelter. Then comes transportation, child care, etc.
These things cost money. So money is not a lightweight component of child support. However, contrary to popular assumption, money is not the only form of child support and is not necessarily the most important.
Don’t get me wrong. Every man or woman who is a non-custodial parent should provide financial support. However, in most cases the child does not know when his father is late with his payment, nor does the child care.
The child cares whether or not Dad shows up for school programs, baseball games or weekend visits. A more complete and holistic approach to, and definition of child support is needed. It’s not always just about the money.
For instance, a child with sickle cell requires a type of support that a totally healthy child does not. Along with financial support must come mental, moral, spiritual and emotional support as well. The most important aspect of child support is that the child knows that he or she is loved and not rejected.
These are very critical factors in a child’s development. They are elements that you cannot throw money at. Child support is supposed to be about their child, not two adults who can’t seem to get along.
Too many parents try to use their child or children to hurt the other person that may have hurt them during the relationship. This is a grave offense and it usually backfires in the face of the immature perpetrator. Some sisters mistake child support for “me support.”
Some brothers withhold support because the woman no longer wants to be with them. Either way, the child’s well-being is compromised for the sake of foolishness. Child support is designed for the child; not the “child-like” mentality of immature parents.
That does not need support. It needs treatment and counseling. Prayer and communication is essential when two people are raising a child under the execution of a child support agreement.
The key is to put your personal issues on the backburner. Sooner or later both mother and father will have to communicate about the well-being of the child. Too often that communication takes place years later in the court room or a funeral home. But, by then it is too late. Let’s grow up folks.
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