CHALLENGE OF A CLEAR CONSCIENCE

By Dr. Sterling Lands, II

Many decisions in life are influenced by the state of your conscience. A sensitive conscience is the mark of maturity. A clear conscience involves the inner freedom coming by knowing no one can rightly accuse you of having offended him or her without asking for forgiveness. A great hindrance to gaining a clear conscience is the feeling the ones you offended were wrong too. It is essential you recognize and confess wrong actions against those you offended. It is critically important to discern, confess and change wrong attitudes, which were either caused by or resulted from your wrong actions. Dealing with wrong actions is difficult, because you are so involved with your own thoughts and emotions and failed to realize the attitudes you are actually reflecting to the people around you. People react to your attitudes. It is essential to learn how to inspect yourself in wrong attitudes in order to prevent others’ wrong reactions. A difficult step in gaining a clear conscience is to purposely ask for forgiveness. Ask for forgiveness for primary offenses. There is one genuine statement, which reflects true sincerity and humility - “I am convicted within as to how wrong I have been in my attitude and action. I know I have wronged you in this, and I’ve come to ask, will you forgive me?” Search your memory. It is constructed in such a way, you tend to forget unpleasant events. Therefore, it is quite significant you are able to forget certain events involving wrongs committed against others. Have you lied to anyone? One lie, which is not confessed, can cause a person to mistrust you for the rest of your life. Search the attitudes others have toward you. It is important to look at people’s reactions when building walls against you and see if they are mirroring back the wrong attitudes you had towards them. What goes around comes around. Your words must identify the basic offense. Many people ask for forgiveness and never receive it, because of not seeing how deeply they hurt the other person. Put yourself in the other person’s place and relive the offense through his or her eyes and feelings. Let your offenses break your heart. The primary offense generally involves an underlying attitude such as ungratefulness, disrespect, dishonesty, self-centeredness, pride, laziness, etc. Specific actions result from these basic attitudes. Your words must reflect full repentance and sincere humility. Your approach must include correction of any attitudes or actions causing the offense and also restitution for any personal loss suffered by the one offended. Determine the proper time and method to ask forgiveness. Confess only to those offended. It is inappropriate and potentially harmful to extend the confession to persons outside the circle of offense. Clear greatest offenses first. The longer guilt exists, the more destructive it becomes. Focus on what you are fully responsible for. Don’t implicate others in an attempt to minimize your offense. Clear your conscience quickly. There is a danger in waiting too long before asking forgiveness. Over time, you tend to decrease the magnitude of your offenses and the one you have offended will tend to increase their magnitude. This makes it all the more difficult to gain forgiveness. When you wait to long you may tend to decide not to ask for forgiveness at all.