Woebeit since most Christians can’t handle the truth about Jesus the Christ, they tend to get emotional when any at-tempt, whatsoever, is made to explain the concept of Christianity from a totally objective, although logical perspective (than what they have been indoctrinated to believe by needy, lazy believers), they lean on the absurd misconception that He, indeed, is being held hostage in 2005 America to serve evil in high places. Nevertheless, since this is our Easter edition, I’ll try--one more time – to edify you with a more insightful version of where our Lord and Savior was coming from when declared, “It is finished,” and hung his head and died on the cross. Then again, from experiences, I know my best effort will be dismissed as inane ramblings from The Twilight Zone of an old agnostics mind. But, although my beliefs often border on The Outer Limits of blasphemy, I am a true believer. For sure, my bible thumping brothers and sisters, who still fail to grasp the concept of wisdom being hidden in pre-school nursery rhymes, have always scorned my version of Christianity. Yet, they truly believe… what they believe… they believe The Holy Bible is saying. Hell, most of the brothers and sisters who rebut my biblical knowledge, couldn’t interpret their ninth grade history books, so how can they understand one of the most confounding books ever written? On the other hand, I use to baffle my teachers with my ability to talk trash about the most complex subjects.
Ergo, please feel me when I say that Jesus tried to explain to his followers that he was simply God's troubleshooter, who only came down from heaven to fix what was broken, catch a cloud and get back to being the "I AM." Then again, mayhap, I should first offer a disclaimer, because my objectivity precludes personal belief. Hence, don't call, or e-mail me to argue your confused version of what is written chapter and verse. Square business, you aren’t intelligent enough to argue with me if you haven’t reached a level of spirituality to realize that God profoundly identified himself for humankind when he answered Moses query on the mountain. I AM, that I AM notwithstanding, please study the myriad of monotheistic religions (with an open mind), and learn what I AM translates to in human terminology, my brothers and sisters. Meanwhile, can we have a little talk about Jesus on this Easter week? If you have a problem with the concept of a virgin birth, just think buying a watch with batteries included, as opposed to one that you have to wind up to keep it ticking. Plan of salvation aside, when Jesus gave up the ghost, he switched to his AC connection to recharge his DC batteries. In contrast, batteries are not included in humankind's package. Thus, when our power source is cut off we're dead until we're re-connected to the main source of power. And that’s sho’ nuff GOOD NEWS! However, if you haven't paid your electric bill, an extension cord won’t work. Are you praying with me brothers and sisters, or am I being presumptuous to think you're imaginative enough to grasp the concept of God being the power plant that energizes all other power outlets?
Hark!, I hear that damn The Twilight Zone theme, so I best be good. Hence, let's start at the elementary level of Christianity. First, must be able to handle the truth that Jesus wasn't a Christian per se (FYI: “The term ‘christian’ is used to denote the followers of Jesus Christ. Acts 11:26 records that ‘it was in Antioch that the disciples were called Christians for the first time.’- Ignatius, 110 AD.) Hey, I didn’t say it. It’s in the book. And so is Jesus’ job description, even if you’re wont to insist that He interacts directly in our lives to perform such mundane task as being a nurse maid (“He woke me up this morning”), or sports fan at best, or a bookie at the very worse (“I want to thank my Lord and Savior for giving me the victory.”) Are you still praying with me brothers and sisters? Okay, now let’s go back to the Garden to close this mini-sermon: “Having created the animals and beasts, He (God) says to them: ‘Let us arrange for a new kind of creature to emerge, a human being, in our own image, yours and Mine. Let us fashion a creature who will be like you, an animal, in some ways—needing to eat, to sleep, to mate—and will be like Me in other ways, rising above the animal level. You animals will contribute his physical dimension, and I will breathe a soul into him.’ And so, as the crown of Creation, human beings are created part animal, part divine.” Need I explain the forbidden fruit thing? Okay, let’s talk punishment: “I think the story is about the differences between being human and being an animal, and he key to understanding it is the fact that the ‘forbidden’ tree is called The Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil. “Human beings live in a world of good and bad, and that makes our lives painful and complicated. Human beings, however or unique in the world of living creatures. The ‘image of God’ in us permits us to say No to instinct on moral grounds. We can choose.” -Excerpts from Rabbi Harold Kunsher’s 1983 best seller, “When Bad Things Happen To Good People”) Verily, verily I say unto you, my brothers and sisters, Jesus came only to pay our light bill, and a plan to reconnect with our power source, because we were stumbling around in the dark killing ourselves. Yet, instead of keeping his commandment (to love), we’re still trying to hold him hostage to serve us. I wonder if anybody knows where I’m coming from... well enough to have a Happy Easter?